Strengthening Sisterhood

 

The theme of our Women’s Ministries Department for this year is “Releasing Strongholds; Strengthening Sisterhood.” According to the dictionary, a stronghold is a fortified place, like a wall around the city. In the spiritual logic, a stronghold symbolizes a wall of resistance to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  In 2 Corinthians 10: 3, Paul refers to this as the spiritual battle. It is the spiritual battle which the Christian must fight, not against flesh and blood but against a spiritual entity.

            Sisterhood is defined as a friendly relationship among women based on shared respect, genuine concern, support and admiration for one another. Sisterhood is critical for living a successful Christian life. One of the ways we learn to be good Christian women is from other Christian women.  Similarly, our young sisters look to us for examples of how to grow into strong and mature godly women. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17, Iron sharpens iron; so a man [woman] sharpens the countenance of his friend [sister].   What are some of these strongholds? They are things such as pride, envy, backbiting, lying, deception, gossip, selfishness and, un-forgiveness towards one another.  

 Strongholds prevent us from coming together to experience the joy of sisterhood, and from connecting with one another on a personal level. They make us insensitive and indifferent to the needs of one another. The devil knows that when sisters come together to love and support one another, their families will become stronger, so he drives a wall of division between us.

  Thankfully, God provides an avenue which helps us to release these strongholds. In 2 Corinthians 10: 4, the Bible says that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.  As sisters, the power of God is at our disposal to help us pull down fortresses or strongholds among us so that we can feel free to come together to experience joy of sisterhood. In the next issue, we will discuss some tips on how to strengthen sisterhood.



–Submitted by Faye Torrington

Women's Ministries

 

 

Special Education: The Myth of a Bed of Ease

Education that helps children and young adults with various special needs gain life-skills for functional independence and meet standards of a school’s core curriculum; is called Special Education. This area of education requires systematically monitored arrangements; adaptive equipment and materials; various interventions and individualized teaching techniques and procedures. Phew!  A mouthful! Yet this does not complete the gamut of special education involvement with its many challenges. The reality, for educators, like myself, in the field of special education; is that it is administratively, physically, mentally and pedagogically demanding. Briefly tabulating some of the challenges should help to dispel the myth that “special educators have it easy.”

These may be considered among the top challenges of special education:

1.      Low teacher morale:  A lack of appreciation for the work that special educators do affects their sense of contribution to students’ progress in general and grade level achievements of students on standardized tests.

2.      Paper work: The regular and time- consuming paper work requirements leave little time and energy to the special educator to do the greater work: help special needs students achieve their IEP goals and the core curriculum standards.

3.      Limited parental support: Many parents virtually “drop” their children on the school and relieve themselves of full participation in the academic and social development of their children. This is something that I have observed for more than 8 years in the field of special education. The special education teacher can also have a “double-edged sword situation of limited support from the school’s administration. In some instances, to be seen as managing, the special educator must contain and confine to the classroom the various problems that can arise and not be requesting backups too frequently.

4.      Scheduling related teachers: On a daily basis the special educator has to coordinate   his schedule with other teachers of services that are mandated for the students. These are counselors, speech pathologists, psychologists, occupational therapists and so on.

5.      Supervising and training paraprofessionals: The academic assistant may be assigned to the class in general or to a certain child. And it is not uncommon to see more than one paraprofessional with the special educator because of what is mandated for students. This represents additional work for the specialist to plan, schedule, guide and evaluate not just the students, but also the paraprofessionals whose actions the specialist is held accountable.

6.      Data collection:  The specialist has to keep minute by minute record of some students ‘behaviors that would be necessary for evaluation, behavior plans and future appropriate placement .All this is expected in a class of mixed  and varied degrees of disabilities including children classified as emotionally disturbed .All this this is in keeping with my first -hand experience.

7.      Great variations in students’ needs: The differences which challenge the delivery of differentiated instruction range from  disparities in learning styles; grade levels; rate of understanding concepts ;nutrition of students and mandated instructional goals. 

The above mentioned issues do not exhaust the challenges in special education. It is in the interest of time and space that only mention must be made of the fact of the high attrition or “burn-out rate of special education teacher: 50 percent leave the classroom every 5 years. Those who make it past 5 years leave within 10 years (Dage, 2006).  I am one of the statistics. Not in the least are the challenging effects of cuts in education budget on special education; the difficulties of measuring certain goals of special needs students by simply filling in a bubble of standardized test that reforms in education must consider; the racial disproportion of Colored and Hispanics minorities to Caucasian children in special education and much more that cannot now be listed here.  The perception that special educators have the easiest job with 12 students and assisting paraprofessionals is a myth amidst the multitude of evidence to the contrary.

—Submitted by: Dr. Wilford Hyatt, M.S.Ed., N.D.

 

THE LORD'S COMPASSION

I stumbled upon this adult section in a local newspaper. By curiosity I decided to browse through it.  I saw a number of girls in lingerie’s with a price tag and actual men with the same. I felt sick in my stomach when I saw these young men and women selling themselves and probably doing so with no shame. I began to think of so many reasons as to why these men and women would post their pictures in a newspaper and to make it worst, be half naked. I could not come up with one worthy justification. I felt appalled by these men and women who, instead of looking for legitimate ways of generating income, cowardly compromise their integrity and self-esteem by offering themselves up for sale. Whatever happened to men being a father figure in a family, a role model to other men and their sons; or bearer of rules of ethic and honor? Or whatever happened to women being a mother figure in the family, a role model to other women and their daughters; or bearer of morals and dignity? What are they passing on to society and generations to come?

I looked at these men and women as spoiled brats who preferred the easy way out. They probably lack something which I can’t pin point. I was uncomfortable with it and could not understand why our men and women would stoop to such lows.

I took a deep breath and looked deep inside for some reconciliation. After failing to find that peace or justification, I decided to take another look in the hope of finding another insight or perspective. BAM! As I looked, something hit me right in my gut. I felt an unknown feeling of sadness taking me over. I then began to consider the surmounting challenge these men and women must face to hit that bottom. Were they abused as children?  Were they raised without a fathers or mother figure?  Are they dealing with some inside demons that we can't see on the outside? Are they just free-spirited and feel they are within their own right to be and do what they want? I recalled the verse in Mathew 7 which asks us not to judge.

God in His Omnipotence knows us inside out. If it was for justification, none of us would be saved according to His standard but He loves us anyhow. Maybe these men and women may have failed to live up to my own standards; but as a Christian, I am challenged to learn how to love them anyhow. I am not better than they are just because I do not face the same challenges they do. I simply have a different outlook; but on the inside we all are struggling with one issue or another. What you do, or what happened in your past does not determine who you are!  Push past this need to look down on yourself or on others, and create a brighter future.

God in His unfailing love forgives us and has redeemed us in spite of our littleness and imperfections. Through God's eyes we're simply a child who needs help. Instead of forsaking us whenever we fail Him, He loves us with a compassionate heart. He freely gives and He only asks of us to accept His grace. He gave us Jesus not because we deserved Him; but simply because he so loves us! All we need to do is to accept His mercy which is freely given to whoever believes.

Are we taking another look at those around us and seeing the need for compassion, love, care and ultimately Jesus? We all need Jesus. He has been the game changer for me and He can change the game for you as well!

–Submitted by Keisha Hamilton
AYS

To Help You

To Help You
by Tabby

Through the trials,
You think you all alone.
Through all the trials,
You feel you've been disowned.
Through the trials,
You feel no one cares.

Well I'm here to say:
I am here to care.
When you talk, I'll listen;
When you weep I'll give you a shoulder;
When you scream I'll take it in.

I'm here to love you,
Never let you alone.
The troubles are not yours
But now become ours.

Listen to me my friend,
I'm here in time of need,

Lean on me and the One
Above and you will be relieved.

–Submitted by Keisha Hamilton

 

Be Thankful

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know everything,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

•••••••••<<§>>•••••••••

Author unknown

–Submitted by Keisha Hamilton

A Word to the Wise

 

So you got the job……now what!

McDonalds, Citibank, Home Depot, The Law Firm, The Hospital...You’ve aced the interview, you’ve charmed the employer and your first day is Monday.  You’ve got it all planned out what you'll be doing with the money….a new iphone a new ipad a new….don’t count your chickens before they hatch.  As easily as you were hired, you can be fired.  But don’t worry, I got your back!  There are a few of many things you need to keep in mind.  The first is personal and the others are business.
 

1. Manage Your Finances!

If you don’t already have one, open up a bank account…..Preferable 2….but ideally 3, a Checking account, a savings account and a ‘don’t touch’ savings account.  The checking account you will use for your bills and Tithe, your savings account you will use for your ‘misc.’ items i.e., entertainment and your #2 savings account should be an account that you decide NEVER to touch.  Put something in there every week.  Be it $5 or $10….let it stay and let it grow.  Don’t get excited when it grows….get encouraged and motivated to let it grow even more.  Don’t tell your friends about it……it’s not for loans; it’s for your future.

2.  Do your job!



Find out what is expected of you and DO IT!! It sounds easy but you’ll be surprised how many people pass through occupations doing what they perceive to be the bare necessities, but never do what they are responsible for. If necessary keep the job-posting information as a reference or request a description of the duties expected to be performed by you along with deadlines; if there are any. Then fill your day with what you know you are supposed to do.

 

 3.  Become an asset!!
 

You’re being paid to work! There will come a time, if you are diligent, when your duties will be finished. Be industrious, be observant, and continue to find ways to improve your environment. Do what was not asked! Make an impression; improve upon what’s already in place. Find out if your co-workers need assistance. There is always something to do. It may not be what you want to do but there is always work for you to do. If there is no work, there will be no job. Be thankful and ‘WORK!’.

Always remember you are still being watched.  There is a probation period for everyone.  It may be explicit or implied but you do have probation period.  If you are usually a ‘slacker’, the first 3 weeks of the job are not the time for these traits to shine through.

Congratulations…..now you’re ready to work!!!

–Submitted by Julie Ann Daley

 

The Bible vs. cell phone

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bibles like we treat our cell phones?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several times a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we travelled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible? Oh, and one more thing, unlike our cell phones, we don't have to worry about our Bibles being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.

Makes you stop and think 'where are my priorities? And no dropped calls!

When Jesus died, he was thinking of you!

                                                                                —Submitted by Pat S-Brown

Dr. Hyatt's Wellness-Wise Tutoring

Supporting a Child Through Grief and Bereavement

 Even very young children feel the pain of bereavement, but they learn how to express their grief by watching the adults around them. After a loss – particularly of a sibling or parent – children need support, stability, and honesty. They may also need extra reassurance that they will be cared for and kept safe. As an adult, you can support children through the grieving process by demonstrating that it’s okay to be sad and helping them make sense of the loss.

Answer any questions the child may have as truthfully as you can. Use very simple, honest, and concrete terms when explaining death to a child. Children, especially young children, may blame themselves for what happened and the truth helps them see they are not at fault.

Open communication will smooth the way for a child to express distressing feelings. Because children often express themselves through stories, games, and artwork, encourage this self-expression, and look for clues in those activities about how they are coping.

How to help a grieving child:

Allow your child, however young, to attend the funeral if he or she wants to.

• Convey your spiritual values about life and death, or pray with your child.
• Meet regularly as a family to find out how everyone is coping.
• Help children find ways to symbolize and memorialize the deceased person.
• Keep your child’s daily routine as normal as possible.
• Pay attention to the way a child plays; this can be one of a child’s primary ways of communicating.

What not to do:

• Don’t force a child to publicly mourn if he or she doesn’t want to.
• Don’t give false or confusing messages, like “Grandma is sleeping now.”
• Don’t tell a child to stop crying because others might get upset.
• Don’t try to shield a child from the loss. Children pick up on much more than adults realize. Including them in the grieving process will help them adapt and heal.
• Don’t stifle your tears. By crying in front of your child, you send the message that it’s okay for him or her to express feeling too.
• Don't turn your child into your personal confidante. Rely on another adult or a support group instead. [helpguide.org]

–Submitted by Merle Adams

Elderly Communication Tips

As our parents and grandparents age, you may notice that it is more challenging to communicate effectively with them.  The following tips are suggested to make communication easier:

 

1.     Make sure the time is convenient.  Just like you, your Mom follows a routine.  She usually wakes up at the same time every day. She eats breakfast, lunch and dinner on a schedule. She may have certain daily activities she enjoys, like watching a particular TV program or getting her hair done. Be respectful. Make sure the time you want to stop by is convenient for her. 

 

2.     Make sure he/she is comfortable and seated in the most comfortable chair in the room. Ask if he/she needs anything to drink or needs to go to the bathroom before beginning your chat.

3.     Make sure your face is well lighted. Hearing loss is common as we age.  Many elderly people unconsciously read lips to better understand what is being said.  If your face is easy to see, it can be easier for your Mom or Dad to understand you.

 

4.     Talk to the good ear, making sure it is closest to you.  Position yourself so your loved one can hear you clearly.

 

5.     Choose a time of day when he/she is better able to focus.  Each of us has times of the day when we have more energy and focus.  Does your Mom function better in the morning, afternoon or evening? 

Does that match with your energy levels? Try to match your peak times.  If both you and your Dad function best mid-afternoon, that is when you should have your chat, so you have a better chance that your ideas will be well received. 

 

Retrieved from http//www.mreldercareonline.com

 Submitted by Merle E. Adams

It Is Well With My Soul!

The hymn "It Is Well With My Soul" was written by Horatio G. Spafford, a successful Christian lawyer and humanitarian, who suffered many tragedies in his life.   He and his wife, Anna, had five children, one son and four daughters.  Their son died from Scarlet Fever at age four.  Shortly after investing in real estate in Chicago, they lost it when the Great Chicago Fire destroyed most of the city in 1871.    When Anna's health began to fail and to help her overcome her grief from losing their son, Horatio decided to take his family to Europe. Some last minute business caused him to send his family ahead, with the intent to follow them on another ship a few days later.  Unfortunately for Horatio, there was even more sorrow to bear.  His family's ship was struck by a British ship in the Atlantic Ocean and Anna telegraphed him to say that  all four of their daughters drowned.

On His return home, his Law firm was burned down and the insurance refused to pay, claiming  it was "an act of God."  He had no money to pay for his house and no work, he also lost his house. Then while sitting and thinking what's happening to him, being a spiritual person, he wrote a song - whatever my lot, you have taught me to say - It is well, it is well with my soul.

My dear friend, a good attitude will determine your altitude. When you look at your life, career, job or family life, what do you say? Do you praise God? Do you blame the devil? A good attitude towards God makes Him move on your behalf. Just sit down and say, Today God, it is well with my soul. I am thankful I had a peaceful sleep. I am thankful I am alive with possibilities. I am thankful I have a roof over me. I am thankful I have a job. I am thankful that I have family and friends.

 Above all, I am thankful that I have the Lord Jesus Christ on my side. Be blessed and don't be envious or shocked when others are prospering, because you don't know what they have been through to get there (test, trials and tribulation).  So, thank God for what you have.  Little is much when God is in it. It Is Well With My Soul!

Submitted by C P

2012 Couples' Retreat

Well, this year’s couples’ retreat took place at the beautiful Basking Ridge DOLCE Resort in Basking Ridge, New Jersey.  Approximately twenty-two couples were present, with Pastor Brian Carter as the Facilitator.  This retreat was significant to me because it had been about four years since I last attended.  It was a last-minute decision we made to attend.  None-the-less, we arrived at the hotel about 4:30 pm on Friday, August 31; with plenty of time to settle in and get ready for dinner and Vespers at 6:00 and 9:00 pm, respectively.

                There is always drama when it came to Couples’ Retreat!  I remember the first year (about fourteen or so years ago) as if it were yesterday—the bus that we charted to transport about twenty-five couples (50 people) suffered a slight setback when the top of the bus blew off while travelling on the New Jersey Turnpike.  You see, we were going to Lancaster, PA, when this happened.  We took the whole thing in stride and had fun thinking about the lovely buses that passed our bus on the highway.  We had a GREAT time with our theme “Keeping the Fire Burning.”

                On Friday, August 31, 2012 was no exception.  Some couples got lost—taking the wrong turn; others got “stuck” in the Holland Tunnel due to traffic congestion, and others simply left their homes late so they did not reach DOLCE until late in the night.  One couple, in particular, was always late—if the meeting time is set for 7:00 p.m., they would turn up at 11:00 pm—therefore, drama is always expected at couples’ retreat.  Anyway, we ate dinner and hang around the hotel lobby on Friday evening waiting for Vespers to begin, while others were checking in and still others were trying to get some food before the hotel restaurant put away the food for the evening.

                We had Vespers and retired for the night—I slept like a baby!  We woke up bright and early on Sabbath morning, took showers and went down to the restaurant for our 7:00 a.m. – 8:30 am breakfast.  Since it was a nice relaxing night, everyone seemed happy and refreshed—people were smiling while greeting each other.  It was wonderful to see so many new faces.  We introduced ourselves and I greeted some of the gentlemen with a little neck rub, while claiming to be the retreat’s “Masseuse.”  We then went back to our rooms to get ready for our first session.  In the first hour, Elder and Sister Ewart Carter led out with me leading out in reading the Scriptures and Elder Howson offered prayer.  After that, the Facilitator took charge of the program.  He had my rapt attention, because I liked where he was going with his presentation.                

However, not too far into the presentation, an Elder asked a question about women ordination. O my goodness! Everything went in a completely different direction. The night before, that same Elder tried to engross us in the controversial topic of women ordination; but he had no luck because no "fish bit on his bait. " Well, this was his opportunity to do what he had no success doing the night before. The Facilitator entertained the subject, because he wanted to get the “dross out of the way.” The discussion went on and on until, some people started questioning the reason for the retreat and reminding everyone that the venue was not the place for the type of discussion.

After much ado, the Facilitator tried to tie in everything that was discussed as relevant to the theme—Matters that Hamper Family Relationships. —TO BE CONTINUED . 

 

.

Families!



"Nuclear" Family

Family!  What is a family?  Family, familia (Latin); familie (Dutch); in any context, is a group of people that are affiliated by some affinity, or co-residence.  In the human race the family is the primary establishment for continuing the process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behaviors, and social skills that are necessary to his or her social position.  In other words, it is the primary “institution for the socialization of children.”  We say the socialization of children, because what we will become, we learn to be as children. 





God created the first family (husband and wife) and placed them in a home.  In that home, they were commanded to continue the process.  They were to so see to it that little Adams and little Eves filled their home and by extension, little Adams and Eves were to continue the process up to a thousand generations.  Each household that came out of the first should continue and build on, grow, build and teach.



Sadly, that nuclear family disintegrated into single-parent (one person); blended (couple with one or more children from a previous marriage) and gay families (people of the same gender having a “marriage.”)  With the amalgamation of the family unit in modern societies, how do we cope with the issues that present themselves?  How do we include everyone, without offending anyone?  How do we uphold the “nuclear” family without offending the “blended” family?  How do we serve the needs of the various types of families without being labeled “hate-mongers?” Should we support and serve the various family units without partiality; or should we just look about the needs of the families that are closely aligned to the “ideal” and forget about everyone else?


"Single" Father Family

These are questions that societies struggle to deal with on a daily basis, both inside and outside of the church. We do not have all the answers.  We do know, however, that these units, be it “nuclear,” “blended,” “single,” or “gay” make up homes, neighborhoods, communities, churches, villages, cities, and countries of the world.          




"Single" Mother Family

Fortunately, as a church community and large family, we are not left to blow in the wind. We have a Creator and Father who loves us all! He cares for all of us. He has no pleasure in some of the choices that we have made, but nonetheless, He is waiting to help us navigate the chaos that we have made for ourselves. He bids us, “do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isa 41:10 NIV)

—Submitted by: Doreen Howson

  

              

The Pope is Resigning!

The Pope is resigning! Effective February 28, Pope Benedict XVI will be stepping down as Supreme Pontiff. What do you know, the Pope is resigning! In six hundred years, it is the first time since a Pontiff will not die while holding the job. What is the significance of this event? It this related to prophesy? One lady said to me last evening, this means that the world is coming to an end.



Pope Benedict XVI

People are making all sorts of assumptions! Among the ideas floating around are: there may be a scandal; something is going on behind the scenes; things are not as they seem; Popes do not resign, they die in office; they have another man who they can manipulate; he is not as out-going as Pope John Paul II. O my, don't be surprised if you hear that he is dead shortly.

There should be no comparison made between he and his predecessor--one man was a peoples' person and a world traveler. The other man is a scholar, and a serious-by-the-book Catholic. One felt that he could do nothing else after leaving the Pontiff's Office; while the other believed that because of his age and declining health, he should step down so that a younger and more vibrant man can fulfill the role of leading so massive a people.

As one Cardinal puts it, it takes a certain sense of humility to put pride and self-interests aside and focus on what is best for the Church. Looking at the whole thing, it must take some level of self-abasement to step from the spotlight back into "nothingness." Whatever may be the reason or reasons behind the Bishop of Rome’s resignation, it will be in the news for weeks, even months to come.

Before the words were dry on paper or the news out in the media, people were taking wagers as to who will be the next Pontiff. At the beginning of March they will convoke a conclave to select the next Pontiff. Until then, we will hear much more about the Pontiff’s resignation. What do people call him on March 1? Do they call him the ex-Pope? Or do they call him Cardinal Ratzinger? Since it has been a long, long time since a Pope resigned, I think they will deal with the issues as they present themselves—you are talking about the Catholic Church, y’all!

Invitation

The Family Ministries Department in collaboration with the Communication Department is pleased to inform you that we’ll be publishing a quarterly Newsletter, entitled Family Ministries News and Mews, beginning with the March 2013 issue.   The mission of this quarterly communiqué is to provide a forum for publishing whatever information you need in your quest to develop healthier and happier family processes for yourselves as individuals and for those of you who seek to strengthen old and foster new relationships.   We aim to cover a wide range of topics—from abstinence to Mount Zion (A-Z) and “everything” in between—employment, parenting, grief, health, nutrition, worship, just to mention a few.
 

To facilitate the timely quarterly publication of high-quality articles, we are setting up section editors whose responsibility will be to review articles in their areas of expertise.  If you are willing and able to make a full commitment to serve on the editorial committee, please see the Family Ministries Leader.

Please use this forum to submit your short articles of interest, event announcements, faith-sharing activities/tips, nutrition tips, health issues, etc.  You can write on any topic, within reason, of course.  It is our sincere desire  that you and your family will be blessed. 

Please use http://famcomnews.blogspot.com/ to submit your articles.  Also, please take a moment to fill out the Family Ministries Needs Assessment Survey.

Thank you,

Family Ministries